Why I would never listen to, or say anything that promotes or celebrates R Kelly's music, for example (don’t even like writing the name)
Tara star, some talk about separating the artist and the man. The music was used as a tool in cases like these of abuse (and alleged abuse) - used to groom, manipulate and control, as was the money
I know that people sometimes speak about separating the art and the person making it.
I’m also aware that it’s not just the artiste, but producers and a larger team who are involved in creating music and videos, managing PR etc.
Some, though, may have wanted the work and money to continue, some may have been attacked, manipulated and groomed. Others may have fought to try and stop it - and been discredited, silenced.
I am speaking in more general terms, not about any individual circumstances, or even just about that particular singer.
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He is not a singer in my mind.
I know factually that he recorded music.
He is a criminal.
Also, there could have been people building a fortress of protection around some of these ‘revered’ artists and protecting - at all costs. Believing - or not.
Often, these manipulators, abusers, groomers, r pists, are not working alone. There could be facilitators, as awful as that sounds, and the perpetrators would probably invite others in who they think could be silent.
Intimidated.
Fearful.
Or, in some cases, perhaps complicit.
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The victims or survivors are the people that are important here.
What makes an abuser a criminal and an abuser, is the fact that they abuse.
The tactics of control, grooming and manipulation and the way silence is bought (both literally and without money) is despicable. The victims and survivors are never in the wrong. He is.
They are.
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Songs, that were viewed as legendary, or iconic (feel disgusting typing that) play into the game of torture and control and are part of the reason these individuals appear to ‘get away with it’ for so long.
So, anything that is a catalyst to survivor and victim’s voices being suppressed, to the grooming of a nation (or of many countries), in my view, should not be celebrated.
If artists are violent, or abusive, why should we support what they want to put out into the universe?
R e victims are silenced, left fearing (in some cases, for their lives)
The story is the survivors. Not these perpetrators.
The story is how we can stop anything like this from ever happening again.
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I despair when I hear and see some of the reports and ‘stories’ in the media. These are victims and survivor’s realities - and something which could have a huge impact on their lives.
Survivors are not pain p n.
For entertainment.
Feeling you have to ‘parade’ your pain to raise awareness, can feel excruciatingly vulnerable and exhausting.
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Where is their support?
The walls of protection around them.
The help trying to work through something they did not do, or cause. But have to try to heal from.
Someone else’s criminal behaviour.
Your heart.
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Moving towards healing.
It is a work in progress and these perpetrators violate the soul of those who are not in any way responsible for the abuser’s actions, but can often be made to feel that they are.
I am this ‘great’ man / artist / person. Look how many people ‘love’ and ‘trust’ me.
‘No one will believe you’
#believesurvivors
Listen to survivors
The celebrity’s status is used like a knife against the heart’s of those who should always be believed.
tarastarpoetry.com
Tara star
www.tarastarpoetry.medium.com
Mischa Barton had a relationship with a co-star when she was 17 and he was in his twenties.
And so does the fact that Mischa Barton* was a child - under 18.
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Getting therapy for trauma in the UK, my story, not the ‘right fit’
I think that if a person needs long term therapy and going through the NHS hasn’t worked, that they should be able to choose their (external) private therapist, someone that specialises in what they need and that they should be able to receive that on the NHS.