What undiagnosed ADHD feels like

/felt like to me

What undiagnosed ADHD feels like:

What trauma feels like:

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https://ko-fi.com/tarastarpoetry

..

I really want to do this thing

or ‘should’ do this thing

But I will avoid doing the thing until the absolute last minute

Not relaxing though, no no no

Every moment will be ruined by me fixating on and hating myself for not doing the thing

Future me will benefit from the thing

Maybe

..

In doing, I will take steps towards healing and soothing my soul

This will care for me

This, potentially, could be great

No, no

I’m unworthy

My life will begin when I can organise my life

Life will start when I am happier, lighter, larger in voice and more open

…

I choke on my own thinking