Disrupted Heart
trauma twist
Disrupted Heart
So full of love.
But got it twisted
Afraid to be so mediocre
or to look disinterested
that I over-insert myself
Over-perform
Decorate all the jars
sitting inside
In case, you take what isn’t
yours
and they’re there
for the lifting
Bursting with love
But got the presentation
twisted
Dipping in and
dipping out
Shadows of all that is
Conflicted
Smothering you with a love
that can feel excruciating
Locked away is my insistence
But, if you asked me
Every act is only for you
In reality, I want to be liked
Better, loved
I grovel over upside down
hearts
When you weren’t expecting
any care at all
Trauma sharpened.
People pleasing, my barrier
and Resistance
I’m packed with love
but it’s falling apart at the seams
Pushing the doors open
Need to contain for me
Can barely breathe
What I’ve been thinking..my inability to promote me, performing poetry and bruises.. What ifs?
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I performed at a poetry event recently and, in the build up, was asked to post on social media. As you, naturally, would be. Not used to celebrating my creativity, or having it celebrated by others in my real-life, this creates all sorts of awkward feelings and interactions for me! I keep my poetry (and have kept huge parts of my life), private. Wrapp…
(Undiagnosed) ADHD and what feels like a lifetime of saying Sorry
(I’m not a medical professional. Just speaking on my own experiences)
Responsibility / Backing off I feel stuck. Can’t move. Do I shy away from you When I feel I am no good Do you see tea spoons that I’m offering When inside you are my soul and my lift Worthy of everything You are your light and your lift